It’s been a tough year to say the least.
My oldest sister passed away in July, I hurt my knee in September which still hasn’t healed, I’ve been coughing for 13 months, and part of my apartment got flooded almost two weeks ago.
I’ve always loved Christmas, but it’s also been plagued with bad memories from my childhood and adulthood.
Navigating the depression and anxiety that comes with this as well as the stress has been a rocky road, but I find as I progress in age and therapy, I’m getting better at it although I was suicidal just the other night.
There are so many expectations when it comes to the holidays, even if you don’t celebrate them, which is not the case with me. I’ve always put up a full tree and decorated it even when single, of course when married. When I was unwed people used to ask me why I bother putting up a fir because isn’t it depressing to do that when you live alone? I would respond that it’s sadder not to do it. It’s even more reason to decorate in this way. And I love doing it.
This year I’ve felt like I’ll be glad when it’s all over but in January, I’ll be disappointed that it is.
There are many ways to deal with holiday depression, anxiety, and triggering mental health problems such as eating and sleeping well, getting together with friends or family when you can, exercise, making creative gifts if you can’t afford to buy them, writing letters to loved ones thanking them for how they’ve impacted your life, doing volunteer work, things you enjoy, riding around looking at lights, taking in nature, attending grief groups, and exploring different venues.
Research suggests noticing any changes in how you think, feel, or act and talking to someone you trust as well as seeking professional help. Now is the time to surround yourself with a support system more than ever and be patient with yourself.
It’s important to note that holiday season depression and clinical depression are not the same thing.
It’s a good thing to set realistic expectations on yourself and say no to commitments that feel overwhelming,
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 64 percent of those suffering from mental illnesses report that their symptoms get worse around this time of year. You can take up a hobby, schedule video chats with people, spread cheer to your neighbors, join community projects and activities, get a pet if you can afford it, try biofeedback, muscle relaxation, meditation, yoga, find a massage school that gives free or reduced massages, sign up to volunteer at Volunteer Match, and visit nursing homes to give hope to the residents.
Sometimes, the depression is so deep, however, that once it hits you can’t seem to climb out of it to do anything. That’s when a phone call to someone you trust is necessary.
An old friend of mine used to say Christmas is just one day and we can get through that. But actually, it’s a season so many people have to learn how to not only trudge through it but thrive or at least find some joy in each day if possible.
My oldest sister who passed away in July was named Joy and her name suited her plus she was born Dec. 5. She liked volunteering, taking walks, exploring new things, and antiquing, as well as spending time on the lake among other things.
The other night in a grief group some members were talking about putting new ornaments on their trees in memory of their loved ones. I couldn’t afford that but when I came out of my depressing fog, I did get the idea to put pictures of Joy with my sisters on the tree and that lifted my spirits.
You just do what you can do.
The DBS Alliance has resources to deal with depression and mental health problems this time of year and you can access them by going to https://www.dbsalliance.org/how-to-prevent-holiday-stress/